What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is a pattern of battering behavior used to establish power and control over an intimate partner or family member. It not only involves punching or hitting but also can include sexual, psychological, or emotional abuse. One can be a victim without exhibiting any obvious physical injuries.

What is the cycle of violence?
Domestic violence tends to follow a cycle of three phases. In the first, tension, arguing, and anger escalates between the couple. In the second, the arguing crosses the line into abuse, which can be physical, sexual or emotional. The aim of the behavior is an attempt by the abuser to gain power and control over the victim. Following the violent episode, the "honeymoon phase" occurs in which the batterer may make excuses for the behavior, promise to change, or apologize. Often the honeymoon phase becomes shorter, and frequently the abuse escalates if the victim attempts to leave the relationship.

Many victims believe the promises made during the honeymoon phase. Often they believe the violence will not occur again, the abuser is capable of changing, or they can somehow alter the abuser's behavior. Many victims are reluctant to seek help for a variety of reasons.

Why do women stay?
Frequently the issue of domestic violence is addressed with the victim-blaming question of "Why doesn't she leave?" No one enjoys being abused. The reasons for staying include:

• Fear that the batterer will become even more violent if she leaves
• Fear for the safety of the children
• Fear of losing financial support and even becoming homeless
• Shame and humiliation of admitting the abuse is occurring
• Lack of access to resources
• Lack of support of family and friends
• Loyalty and affection for the abusing spouse

Are you a victim?
If you answer "yes" to any of the following questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.

• Does your partner ever push or hit you?
• Does your partner ever make you feel afraid?
• Does your partner ever tell you that you deserve to be abused?
• Does your partner act extremely jealous or possessive towards you?
• Does your partner demand sex even when you refuse?
• Does your partner attempt to control how you look, act, think, or spend money?
• Does your partner attempt to isolate you from family or friends?

Where to turn for help:

• Victim-Witness main number
• Women's Resource Center
• National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
• DeKalb Rape Crisis Center